'this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ - Luke 15:32
Strange, isn’t it, to be reading the parable of the Prodigal Son on Mothering Sunday!? It’s a really emotional family account of a lost and errant child being welcomed back by his excited father into the bosom of the family. There’s just one problem. Where is mum in all this? How in the world can you even talk about family—a traditional family from the time of Jesus—without a mum involved? Yet she was never mentioned. Even her absence was not remarked upon by the biblical account or by anyone I’ve spoken to. Contrast that with the story of Hannah in our Old Testament reading. She gave her precious son away, in effect, albeit as a promise to God. We can understand and perhaps forgive the glossing over of women in the Bible, knowing that it emerges from an ancient patriarchal culture, but the continuation of that sort of outlook in today's world, is more and more frowned upon. As Maya Angelou, the American civil rights activist once said, “When you know better, you do better.”
In the Prodigal Son account, what would that mum have said about the two sons and her husband's relationship to them? Did the sons share the same room? Were the brothers friendly, or competitive? Did the father favour the younger son? Scripture doesn't tell us. What advice would mum have given him, had he even thought to ask her about whether the younger son should be given his inheritance and allowed to leave home? Would she have argued that, to be fair, the older son should also be given his inheritance? Or perhaps she would have told her husband, “Over my dead body will you let him do this! Put your foot down; he has no business to even ask you for the money.” Or perhaps, “He's too young! Sure, one day we’ll help him to manage his own affairs- but charge off on his own? No way!” No way, indeed. How much would the presence of a woman, a mother’s perspective, have changed the dynamics of this story? What happened to mum in this parable and in this family, to make her so invisible that even her absence leaves no noticeable empty spot?
When we read the gospel accounts of the lost being found, we must keep in mind that much more than money and property are at stake: there are those, such as the mum in this parable, who are also lost and invisible. Jesus often spoke didn’t he, about the lost? The lost sheep of Israel and his desire to “gather them together as another hen gathers her chicks under her wing.” I’m sure, like all the mums I know, they would do anything for their children, anything to nurture and protect them, love that makes them even sacrifice their own happiness and health. The mum who goes hungry so that her children will have food enough for themselves. Mary along with all mothers is not alone in this calling either, we are all called to love and anyone who loves unconditionally will know what sacrifice is. Loving people in this way takes some courage.
Why do I say that? Because when we love someone, no matter how much or how little; we must wait on their response. Sometimes we receive more love back and sometimes we don’t get any. Christian love, however, is neither sentimental nor cynical; it is deeply honest and embodied in the experiences of life. The love that Christians are called to embody is like our ideal of motherly love; a love that is constant, a love that does not give up, even if it is rebuffed, a love that is prepared to share both the joys and sorrows of the loved one. This kind of ideal motherly love is a Christian virtue that all Christians are called to, both women and men alike, to love others despite the knowledge that loving may bring pain. Love that is lived, not just spoken, may bring both joy and pain. Be careful to hear what I am saying; to love despite the pain – but do not learn to love the pain. To love both neighbour and family as yourself, you do have to love yourself and take care of yourself. If someone deliberately abuses your love, you need to protect yourself, but also pray for them.
We all know the saying, Forgive and Forget. But we also know that very often we say we forgive but can never forget. And that is because we are human beings; if we are hurt we don’t forget it, it’s in our nature. So what can we do? Mothers know only too well the pain of a disobedient child, or offspring that seem to take - but never seem to give back. Mothers though, do forgive and forget. yes they do! What they forget is the pain or upset they experienced, not the event itself. How many mothers forget the pain of labour and childbirth the moment they hold their newborn child in their arms for the first time? Mothers won’t hold a grudge against their own children, it’s not in the nature of motherhood. That is what Forgiving and Forgetting actually means to us a Christians too, to forgive someone and to forget the pain and the hurt. Remember also, through Christian love, God calls us to be saints knowing we cannot become divine by our own strength. God offers us a pathway to divinity guided and aided by the Holy Spirit, through the love and sacrifice of Christ. There is no place for guilt in divine love, only for forgiveness. And that forgiveness extends to each of us, and to each of the people who have hurt us. Easter reminds us that divine love paid the ultimate cost, and that divine love is eternal and eternally life giving. We are all like Mary, called by God to receive Jesus and then in turn to offer Christ back to the world. Like Mary, like a mother, we must come closer to Christ and go further out for Christ, and sometimes it will be painful. And just as Mary stood amazed, when Simeon told her that her son would cause much unrest in Israel and that a sword would pierce her own soul, so we too will not always understand what God is doing in our lives. We, like Mary, are called by God to love even though we know that this will cause pain as well as joy, and like Mary we have to rely on the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to fulfil our task.
So Christians take courage, you are not called to love alone, the Church of Christ stands with you, as does Christ himself, who loves us despite the pain of Calvary, and who walks with us, helping us when we stumble. Mothering Sunday is the time when we think about and give thanks for a mother’s love; the closest thing we have to the love of God through his Son Jesus Christ. For what mother, in love, would not give her life for her children? Let’s rejoice at the love of God and of all parents and especially today, ask God’s blessing on those invisible heroines, our mothers, for all they do; for their love - which is only exceeded by the love of God. Amen (from Fr Peter).